Sweaty Palms

Sweaty Palms – By Theresa Casey

“Seriously, how can a street just randomly change?” I thought to myself in frustration. Although I’ve lived in the area for a little over a year and a half, I’m still not familiar with all of the roads – and in this case, it seemed they were playing a trick on me.

I was headed to my first meeting with Edie, my second grade mentee. Because I wasn’t familiar with the school, I looked up directions online and put the address in my smart-phone. However, when I realized the street I had been on suddenly changed, my plan to use GPS didn’t work. Technology tends to malfunction in high-pressure situations, doesn’t it?

I took a right and found the road I needed. My palms were sweaty with frustration. Either that, or it was the nerves that kept creeping up within my stomach. They traveled to my fingertips and left my palms, creating wet marks on the steering wheel.

This feeling of nervousness didn’t make sense. I’m very comfortable around people – in fact, I would even go as far as to say that I thrive off of it. So, how was meeting a second grader creating so much anxiety?

I pulled into the elementary school parking lot and walked in. My church’s Kids Hope USA Director was waiting for me. She showed me how to sign in, introduced me to the secretary and explained where all of our evaluation forms were. As she was explaining, a teacher popped her head into the office door, a stream of children flowing behind her.

“Are one of you here for Edie?” She asked with a smile. My throat tightened a little, but I took a deep breath and returned her smile.

“Yes! That’s me!” I responded. The teacher beckoned a child over to her, who appeared in the doorway. Her curly blonde locks hung over her ears and as she looked up at me with wide eyes, her mouth drawn into a tight thin line.

“Edie, this is your Kids Hope mentor. She will go with you to get lunch, and then she will show you to the Kids Hope room down the hall, okay?” the teacher said, holding Edie’s hand in her own. Edie nodded, not taking her eyes off of me. I bent forward and held out my hand.

“Hi, Edie. I’m Miss Theresa. It is so nice to meet you!” Edie put out a little hand and shook mine.

The teacher sent us in the direction of the lunchroom, and I watched Edie carry out a tray full of nachos that was almost half her size. Her mouth was still drawn into a tight line, and her curls bobbed as she followed me back to the Kids Hope USA room. She sat her lunch down on the table, and looked at me – face still expressionless.

“I’m excited to get to hang out with you today, Edie.” I said, “I brought some fun things for us to do, and I thought we could start with this game.” Out of my bag I brought a magnet full of faces that depicted various emotions. With it came a small square with the phrase, “I’m feeling,” printed on it. I explained to Edie that we could play this game at the start of our hang out times, and that today I was feeling excited, because I got to meet her. I pushed the magnet towards her, “Now it’s your turn.” I said.

“I don’t really know.” Edie said quietly, after looking at the faces for a minute or two.

“That’s okay,” I replied, “Lets start with getting to know each other. We can ask each other any question that we want to.”

I pulled out the, “About My New Friend” sheet and over the next thirty minutes, we started to unravel this new friendship. Each question that was asked, Edie’s timid voice got a bit louder. Before I knew it, she was sitting on the edge of her seat, feet swinging back and forth, talking about everything from her love to sparkly skirts, to her least favorite food: pizza.

As our first mentoring hour came to a close, I told her that it was time to pack up, putting our markers and paper back into my bag.

“Wait!” Edie said suddenly, “Can we play the face game again?”

“Sure,” I replied, and put the oversized magnet back on the table. “But we will have to be quick!”

“Well, when I first met you,” Edie started, her hand moving the black box around the frightened face, “I was scared. I didn’t know you and I didn’t know what we were going to do. I was like, so shaky – shaking so much, and I wasn’t even cold!” I smiled at her, remembering how sweaty my palms were on the way to the school.

“But now,” she said, moving the box toward the happiest face on the magnet, “I’m excited, because I know you, and your nice. We both like art, and sparkly things, and frozen corn!” Her face broke into a huge smile.

“I know how you feel,” I said, smiling back at her. “Sometimes it can be really tough to meet new people, but I’m glad that we became friends!”

Together we walked back towards her classroom, where she showed me her locker before going to her classroom door. She clutched the doorknob and looked back at me.

“Bye, Edie!” I said, “I’ll see you next week.”

Edie let go of the doorknob and threw her arms around my waist.

“Bye!” she said, and went to find her seat. I stood there for a moment, wondering if this was the same little girl I had met just an hour ago, before heading back to the office to sign out.

I got into my car and thanked God for this precious child who had just opened her life up to me. As I drove back to the office, I realized that a smile had taken permanent residency on my face. Not to mention, my palms were noticeably dry.

The rest of that day, I had coworkers ask me how my first meeting with my Kids Hope mentee went. After all, as Kids Hope USA employees, this is what we all live for! I responded to their question’s all the same way.

“It was wonderful, and it was amazing to see this shy little girl open up her world to me. However, the most amazing thing is that my heart feels so full of love for her already. Absolutely full.”