Mazlish suggests we avoid the following adult tendencies if we are to become good listeners of children;
- Don’t ask too many questions. – Kids open up when not bombarded with “20 questions.”
- Don’t rush to answer questions. – Answering a child’s question with a question encourages them to find their own solutions.
- Don’t take away hope. – Kids love to dream so don’t move to a reality check too quickly.
Things that encourage children to talk as we listen;
- Let children make choices. – If they help set the weekly schedule, they will be more engaged.
- Show respect for a child’s struggle. – Mentors can present options but the child must choose the one that will work for them.
- Help your student sort out tangled thoughts and feelings. – They lack the experience of adulthood to know how things could best turn out.
- Restate the problem as a question. -“You’re upset about the student who picks on you. What could you do to keep that from happening?” Children will follow their own plan once selected from options suggested by adults.
Talk less and listen more is the key to all effective relationships.