It’s no secret that this past year has ushered in significant changes for folks around the world. Not one area of the globe has been immune to the COVID-19 pandemic. In fact, many of us have developed new understandings of words like ‘lock down,’ ‘Zoom,’ ‘virtual learning,’ or ‘quarantine.’ Working in the mental health field for 25 years, I have never seen anything like the emotional or mental health devastation among kids and families like I have witnessed in the past six months. Isolation, Zoom fatigue, and constant change have fostered depression and anxiety at alarming rates not only among adults, but among our youth as well. For many, hope for the future has been replaced by an expectation of disappointment. So. Many. Tears.

In the midst of this, individuals and communities have strengthened their resolve to make a difference. I am inspired by local colleagues who are carrying the torch for suicide prevention, strengthening families, and spreading hope. There is an underlying current that communicates that we are stronger together. In fact, our communities need their members like never before. To that end, Kids Hope USA offers an opportunity for you to make a difference. In partnership with schools and churches, mentors create bridges to hope for youth who are feeling alone and expendable. A weekly connection provides something for students to look forward to: a human, one-on-one connection in the midst of isolation. When this connection happens, students begin to realize that they matter. Someone cares enough to check in with them. The little things that may be overlooked by others can be held dear by their mentor. And even when physically apart, there is someone who can hold them in their mind. While this connection might look different than in previous years, there has never been a better time to invest in the life of a child.

After partnering with Kids Hope for the past eight years, I can promise that the life of the child is not the only life impacted by this partnership – the life of the mentor is transformed in a positive way as well!

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As a Kids Hope USA mentor, you understand this fundamental truth: your student, like all human beings, wants to be known and valued. And that’s why mentoring is so powerful—it shows others that we value them by spending time with them. However, during this time of social distancing, you may have had to find different ways to connect with your Kids Hope USA student.  As founder of the caregiving ministry Wisdom of the Wounded, I see firsthand the power of reaching out to someone in need. Our team has gathered ideas to help you care for and encourage your student, whether virtually or from a safe social distance.

LAUGH:  Science tells us that laughing can enhance our physical, mental, and emotional health.  It can lighten a mood between you and your student. Send your student a joke or riddle in one of your notes as a pen pal. Or, if you meet online, you could open with a joke. This will give your student something to look for and anticipate.  Encourage him to start a joke collection on a computer or in a notebook.  Then when he talks with friends or family, he will have something to share and may discover how enjoyable it is to make others smile.  Online resources like, Third Grade Jokes, 277 Puns for Kids, and Riddles for Teens can get you started.

PLAY A GAME REMOTELY:  Are you still able to meet with your student virtually via webcam? Close the distance between you and your student by playing some fun games together online during your session.  This list of nine classic, free online games is sure to send you down memory lane—and help you create an enjoyable meeting with your student. Just be sure to read the website’s “fine print” to ensure you’re protecting your student’s privacy, as well as following all Kids Hope USA guidelines. If you’re mentoring as a pen pal this year, you could create some word scrambles or simple word or math puzzles for them to solve and send back to you.

SURPRISE YOUR STUDENT:  Most kids, whether older or younger, enjoy a nice surprise. It is fun. It makes both the giver and the receiver smile. So, plan a small surprise for your student. If you are meeting online, tap into your inner performer to sing a silly song, or narrate a poem using funny voices. Or incorporate a “guest visit” from your pet. If your program allows it, you could arrange to send a small gift. Some ideas could include: a bag filled with popcorn and fresh or dried fruit. Or perhaps the surprise bag is filled with a book of puzzles, or coloring pencils and coloring book. Many students enjoy Mad Libs, which can be found at dollar stores. There’s even an online Mad Lib app, if you can get approval for your student to use it.

JAZZ UP YOUR INTERACTIONS:  Just because you are meeting remotely, or temporarily confined to pen pal mentorship doesn’t mean your interactions need to be boring. Here are two ways to make your interactions memorable (and meaningful!)

• Do a “get-to-know you” activity. Maybe this time of social isolation is the right time to get to know each other better. So, make up a list of questions which you would like to know about your student.  (Your student could do the same and give you a list of questions she would like to know about you.) For ideas to get you started see: “Kids Get Acquainted Questionnaire” created by Wisdom of the Wounded.
• Make your written work shine. If you are corresponding primarily through writing, take a moment to ponder: how can I make this letter “pop”? You don’t need to be a talented artist to catch a child’s interest. Consider adding a silly drawing, joke, or stickers to your card. Stick figures are fine! For inspiration, here’s a tutorial on creating simple doodles.

We at Wisdom of the Wounded hope that the above ideas will help you support and connect with your student during these times of social distancing.  Also, these ideas may ignite your creativity as you discover and experiment with other ways of connecting.

Thank you for being a Kids Hope USA mentor. You are making a difference in a child’s life.

About the author: Karen Mulder is founder of Wisdom of the Wounded, a ministry that inspires and equips others to care for the suffering during life’s difficulties.

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That was pretty typical for our conversations those first few weeks.  Continually encouraging my new friend that I believed in her, and if we worked together, she could get better at reading! So, we started each mentoring hour with a story. At first, I read a word, then she read a word. As she got better, I read a line, and then she read a line. One day I suggested that she read a whole page.

“You can do it! I know you can!” I encouraged her. But again she said, “I can’t read! You know that, Kara!” I pushed back and reminded her of all the progress she’d made! “You can do it. I know you can!” I repeated.

So, she began. She read the first word, then the second, and finished a sentence. Then a second sentence, and then a third. She finished the whole page, completely on her own! She looked up, her face full of shock, and she asked quietly, “Kara, can I read?” Teary-eyed, I looked back at her and gave her a resounding, “Yes! Yes, you can read!”

We’ve been together for two years now and I can’t wait to see her thrive in third grade this year. Is reading now her favorite part of school? No, not yet. She loves recess, lunch, art, and music! But for the last two years, every time I ask her what her favorite part of the week is, her answer is always the same: “Wednesdays, because that’s when you come to spend time with me. That’s my favorite part of the week.”

Wednesdays are my favorite part of the week, too.

Written by Kara Nguyen, Kids Hope USA Director of Development

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As you prepare to launch into a new school year with a fair degree of uncertainty, I simply want to take a moment to encourage you. I understand that many of you are transitioning from in person relationships to ‘virtual’ platforms or ‘pen pal’ arrangements, and while this might be discouraging or intimidating, any type of connection or communication with your mentee offers a sound opportunity to sprinkle hope and spread compassion to students who are desperately searching for consistency and connection. With that in mind, I want to share four simple principles that will promote resiliency in your relationship with your student.

First, be Present. I have had the privilege of working in the counseling field for over twenty years, yet over the past six months, I have encountered students who are suffering from disconnection and isolation unlike anything I have previously witnessed. As weeks of lockdown orders lingered into months for students, friendships dwindled and loneliness became pervasive. As we enter this school year, students are starving for meaningful connections. Being available and present for a student throws a lifeline fostering human connection and relationship. When you write them a note, they realize that they matter. They are important. And someone else holds them in mind. Then, when you are able to connect in person and you can add the ingredients of active listening and empathy, students develop the strength to break the shackles of loneliness and embrace their identity as children of the King of Kings.

Second, be Positive. Wow, has our culture grown to inflate negativity! Spending a few moments reading the news or following social media reminds me how hostile, angry, and negative our mainstream culture has become. Students are drowning in this swell of chaos as well. Many are bombarded by criticism on Instagram posts or assaulted with put downs among ‘friends’ while they are gaming. Filling your words and relationship with positivity and kindness builds trust and heals wounds. Kind words create an alternative and corrective experience for kids. Their internal voice changes from ‘I’m worthless’ to ‘Maybe I matter?’ When you see things from a positive perspective, you invite your mentee to experience the world in that way as well. Help them look for the ‘good.’

Third, be Playful. There is nothing like a good laugh to lighten a mood. Stuart Brown, a national expert on the value of play quipped, “When enough people raise play to the status it deserves in our lives, we will find the world a better place.” And isn’t this true! Pause for a moment and consider how you feel when you take the time to play. Whether you are on the tennis court or playing a card game, the act of play triggers positive, happy feelings. I hear many of you wondering, how is it possible to do this when I am not even able to see my mentee in person? While that might be true, there are a multitude of ways to encourage play. If you are meeting them virtually, there are screen options that allow you to play games like Uno or crossword puzzles together. There is even a ‘whiteboard’ where you can play games like dot-to-dot or tic tac toe. If you are writing notes, perhaps you can encourage play through including a coloring page or sharing a pretend story. Encouraging kids to create space for play will indeed make the world a better place.

Finally, be in Prayer. Having less face-to-face time with your student is challenging. They are probably facing obstacles of which you are not even aware. Even so, keep praying for them. Just this morning, I had a conversation with a mom who shared that she had been wrestling with how to create restrictions around her son’s screen time since he had been spending inordinate amounts of time on his Xbox. She committed to praying for him for a week to see if Jesus would provide her direction. Wouldn’t you know, her son approached her a week later and said he was “kind of sick of his video games.” He had decided to try some other activities with friends. What a testimony to answered prayer! Not all changes occur radically like this one, but we can trust that our God is at work and He is making a way. We simply need to ask.

Friends, you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you build relationships with students this year. In some ways, you may feel challenged more than ever. Even so, I am confident of this. You will continue to pour hope into places of hopelessness and spread light in places of darkness. “And let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). And may you be richly blessed as you press on.

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I would like to extend warm greetings to the Kids Hope USA community—mentors and directors—that faithfully serve on the front lines of KHUSA on a regular basis along with all of our school partners, students and families that are a part of our wider family. You are treasured! While this week has been replete with worldwide changes, an array of health crises, and daily uncertainty, there is no better time for us to rise to the challenge and bring Hope to chaos. We have unending peace, hope and joy that begs to be shared. As you navigate the next several weeks, I would encourage you to consider a few practical tips that I believe will draw our little ones into feelings of comfort and safety.  

1) You. As an adult, you are a blessing and the best bridge to peace and hope. When you remain calm and steady in the midst of chaos, kids notice. They will be drawn to you. They will seek safety and comfort from you. Your presence and modeling communicate more than words. Even though you are no longer able to see your child at school, there are many ways to connect with kids that do not require face to face contact. I would encourage you to write notes and let kids know you are thinking of them. Perhaps you can call them or offer to FaceTime. Hearing your voice and knowing that you remain constant can be a source of great encouragement. It helps them to know that you are “holding them” in your mind.  

2) During times of change and uncertainty, kids often do best when they can count on some structure and routine. That being said, I suspect it will be terribly difficult for our students to enjoy consistent routines over the course of the next few weeks. Even so, checking in with students once a week allows you to give them something to look forward to, even a bit of predictability. As you connect, you can confirm that their basic needs are being met. Perhaps you can ask how they are spending their time? Do they have fears or concerns? Creating space for them to be heard can dispel fear. Also, encourage kids to consider the “3 for 20” guidelines: each day, it is important to play (preferably without screens) for at least 20 minutes, read for at least 20 minutes, and “help” for at least 20 minutes. Helping might include a few chores at home, or writing a card for a teacher or neighbor. Research shows that moods improve and anxiety lessens when there is a concerted effort to look outside of self. Another possibility might include creating and sharing a Thanksgiving Journal. You and your student can record 3 things per day for which you are thankful.  

3) Be honest and clear. If a child has lots of questions, give honest and age appropriate answers. Early elementary students will benefit from brief and simple information. When in doubt, let the child lead with questions that are important to him/her and listen carefully. There are times when adults assume that kids are worried about things that are not even on their radar. Letting the child lead creates opportunity to address concerns appropriately. For upper elementary students, you may have the opportunity to help them separate reality from fantasy. Older students also benefit from knowing that adults and leaders are working hard to ensure safety. It might be helpful to remind students that at the present moment, there are very few people in our nation who are sick. There are many more people who are healthy! Since COVID-19 is thought to spread between those who are in close contact with one another, closings and postponements are intended to prevent the spread of the disease and keep kids safe. 

4) It can be helpful to help kids focus on the things that they can control. While practicing good hygiene is important, you can emphasize that kids can be the boss of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Maybe together you can create two separate lists including some things that can’t be controlled and other things that can.  

As you maintain contact with your mentee, you can be confident that “Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.” -Wes Stafford 

Blessings to each of you! Be the bridge to hope… 

The post Offering Hope and Encouragement to kids during COVID-19 appeared first on Kids Hope USA.

This is a guest post by Dr Emilie DeYoung

As February comes to a close and we embark on March, you may be sensing the seasonal doldrums that accompany the loooooong period between Christmas Vacation and Spring Break. For school calendars, the months of January, February, and March often experience an ‘educational surge’ where students encounter more frequent tests and receive larger loads of homework. In addition, limited light due to shorter days and cloudy weather can perpetuate already irritable moods. What is a mentor to do? Let me offer just a few thoughts. 

First, watch for changes in the student that you are mentoring. You might have a typically, talkative ten-year-old who begins to withdraw, or complains of being tired or sad. Or, perhaps your ‘busy’ boy loses interest in activities that have been favorites for weeks. Or, your gentle second grader begins to exhibit signs of anger and aggression. While there are a multitude of possibilities behind these changes, they might be indicators of depression or possibly, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). While we often attach the notion of SAD to adults, kids can experience seasonal mood shifts as well. Common symptoms of SAD include fatigue, irritability, withdrawal from activities previously enjoyed, difficulty concentrating, and loss of motivation. In addition, sleep and appetite can be affected. When these symptoms become the norm rather than the exception over the course of two or more weeks, it is important to consider depression or SAD as a possible cause.  

Whether or not depression is to blame, there are a variety of activities that might restore some joy in your time together. 

1. Remember that inactivity breeds inactivity, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. In other words, the sedentary months of winter where kids gravitate toward screens or devices perpetuate the problem. How quickly minutes and hours pass when students are engaged with electronics! During your mentoring time, be sure to get those bodies moving for at least five minutes. A few laps around the room or skipping up and down a hallway can be FUN. Even more important, movement and exercise release healthy doses of “feel good” chemicals in the brain. No wonder most kids feel better after exercise! 
2. If possible, spend some time outside. Even when the weather is frigid, there are outdoor activities that can elevate mood. Perhaps you can catch snowflakes together (check out this link), or watch boiling water freeze (check out this link). No matter the weather, the fresh air does a body good. 
3. Engage in child-centered or creative, imaginary play. In order to do this, you will need to invite your mentee to pretend with you. I suspect that you remember pretend play as a child. Maybe you were the teacher while all of your stuffed animals were students. Or, you were an astronaut who made regular visits to Mars. Pretend play engages a part of the brain that is different than the ‘thinking brain’ required most often in school. Last week, I engaged in pretend play with a client who was pretend auditioning for American Idol. As we belted out various songs, we “judged” each other on performances. My sides ached from laughter! It was a welcome relief in the middle of a dreary afternoon.  

I suspect that you are wondering about the absence of worksheets or “homework” in my suggestions. My simple response is this. Your ‘homework’ or work time during the mentoring hour will be much more productive if you try one of these suggestions first. In addition, spending time on an activity, in the outdoors, or in an imaginary world will inevitably build the relational equity that you might need to persuade your student to do the homework during these winter doldrums. May you be richly blessed as you show up for your students! 

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One of the best parts of mentoring is witnessing the growth in your student’s life. Sarah Dornbos, a director from Eagle Rock CA, recently saw a students life come full circle. She celebrated with Fernanda, a former Kids Hope student who completed mentor training this fall. The celebration was way bigger than just finishing the training.

A mentor named Robin had worked with Fernanda from 2nd to 6th grade and attended her High School graduation. Fernanda finished high school in May and immediately reached out to Sarah, the Kids Hope director, to find out what it takes to get involved with Kids Hope as a mentor. This fall Fernanda scheduled her college classes and job around her Tuesday mentoring sessions with new student Bella.

When a Kids Hope student returns to become a mentor it’s such a momentous event. It’s amazing to see the powerful impact of mentoring paying it forward from a former mentee.

We pray for our students, and on occasion we are privileged to witness 11 years of prayer being answered. We think you’ll agree, it’s a beautiful sight.

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In November over 60 KHUSA students get to spend a night of fun with their families and mentors at Fun Trackers Family Fun Park. Kids Hope Directors Debbie and Robin work hard to coordinate this phenomenal event. They do all they can to make the evening an amazing time full of fun and games. Partnering with three other churches, there are students from six schools attending. It is wonderful to see relationships grow deeper because of their time together.

For two hours students have unlimited access to the fun park and then get all the hot chocolate and pizza they can eat. The event creates a tremendous bonding experience for mentors, students, and families to play together, eat together, laugh together, and talk together. It opens new doors for relationships between mentors and family members that normally wouldn’t happen.

Parents get a chance to get to know mentors and mentors can spend time just playing and having fun with students. Last year it was the best attended KHUSA event that Yorktown Baptist Church organized and its success sparked the interest of schools and churches now wanting to partner with Kids Hope.

At last year’s event a dad of one of the students just lost his job. He connected with some of the mentors who helped introduce him to a small business owner from Yorktown Baptist Church. After a few people joined together to help meet the family’s immediate needs, he was offered a job with that business owner and the family was back on their feet again by Christmas. It’s such a gift to see that whole families are changed by this night of fun.

Debbie and Robin’s dedication and passion to organize this fun party is so inspiring and empowering that other churches and schools are looking to join KHUSA. It’s amazing to see the mission to help kids grow even more.

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The following is a letter from a school Principal in Weatherford, Texas:

“Dear Kids Hope Mentors,

While words cannot express my appreciation and thankfulness for each and every one of you, I am going to make an attempt.

Our students, teachers, and I are so fortunate to have you in our lives. We appreciate your help and guidance so much.

I was very patient waiting for the right school to continue my journey at as Principal. I am so glad I was placed at our school – for many reasons. Kids Hope is one of the top reasons. In my 25 years as an educator, Kids Hope is by far the best mentoring program that I have been connected with.

We have received our 2009-2010 Preliminary TAKS scores. Official scores/campus ratings will be made public in the Fall. Our scores show that we will be EXEMPLARY for the 3rd year in a row!!!!!

We are so excited!! Please know that YOU played a huge part in this whether you were a mentor, prayer partner, or both.

Again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Wishing you an EXEMPLARY day,

Principal of a very Grateful School”

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From a Kids Hope USA Mentor:

Henry and I have been hanging out for 5 years now. Most of the time, we just read, play games, eat (because it’s over lunch hour these days), and talk. If he has some homework I help him with that as well. He’s a good kid. He’s a fun kid. We have built a great friendship, but there is always this lingering, am I really doing anything for him? Since day 1 of mentoring Henry I’ve wondered if what I was doing really was making a difference. I even had re-assurance from the teacher and others that I was making an impact, but it just never seems like enough. There’s so much more I could and want to do for him, but for now, this is where I’m supposed to be. So, I’ve decided to embrace the statements that I am making a difference even though I don’t usually feel like it. I’ve embraced just seeing him for 20-30 minutes instead of an hour some years because that’s all the time he had between classes after being in Middle School.

Last year was the first time I ever realized I was making a difference.

It was our last time being together before the summer and I always like to reassure him that I’ll be back in the fall as long as he wants me to. So I mentioned, “Well, I’m hoping to come back next year as along as that’s okay with you.”

I waited for a head nod or some affirmation that he had even heard what I said. He tends to not focus the best. Then he replied with the sweet words that have been on repeat in my head all summer long, “All the years!” With much enthusiasm and enjoyment.

That was the first verbal affirmation in 5 years that I received which leads me to believe that maybe I am making a difference. So for all those mentors out there who think they aren’t, just keep showing up and getting to know your student. YOU. ARE. MAKING. A. DIFFERENCE. Live into that truth even if you don’t feel like it most weeks. Your steady presence is impacting a life and you may not see the impact for years, but you are helping guide them to a life where they have the option to make better choices and understand those choices. Cheers to all those who will stick around for “All the years!”

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